Mine. Not Yours.
I will tell you that you mean a lot, if not everything, to me.
I will let you know that every time I ask you things, it means that I miss you, at that very moment
I will say that every time you say ‘hi’, my heart will jump with joy, because that is what I’ve always wanted.
I will say that you are forgiven for anything you say or you do that hurt me, because I know you are a just human.
I will tell you that I want to know every thing about you if you let me to, so that I can understand you better and make less mistakes even though I know that I am only human.
I will tell you that every time I turned my face away, it is because that I am too shy to look at you straight into your eyes.
I will tell you that I sounded serious all the time because of the fear of you knowing what is exactly inside my heart.
And a lot more unspoken words to tell, if this silence could really speak…
I’ve been spending a lot of my time watching people’s behaviour and learnt a lot from their stories, their success, their happiness and their mistakes (if any). At the age of 29 I am still keen on learning from other people’s experience rather than experience it myself and learn. Yes one can call me coward, but what about me putting other people happiness first before mine? Can anyone call me by a good name then?
This lately I always feel like I bring misery to someone who is not supposed to feel miserable with me around. Because as far as I am concerned, I am the most flexible friend (if they want to call me friend anyway) one can have. I never disturb them, never cling to them and never question them in whatever they do. I am always independent and frankly speaking, this is the thing that moulds me into what I am today. I know that a healthy relationship needs two way communications for connections to happen. But this doesn’t mean that I am senseless. I do realize it when they don’t treat me the same anymore. I do sense it if they try to avoid me for whatever reason they feel. And for me it is simple. Things should be treated mutually same. I’ll do the same thing they to. I’ll react the same way they react. Now, isn’t it wonderful to have a friend like me?
Those were just guesses.
Sometimes I just wonder is it because of my way too cool behaviour that makes people (read: men) think that I am weird or something?
To be continued…