Ini belog jiwang gB yerrr…

Am I falling for the right guy this time?

 

Or am I falling for the right guy who is made wrong by the society?

 

.

 

But I still have this question.

 

How many wrong guys should I fall for before finally fall into the arm of the right one?

I begin to think that things I am waiting for now is not worth the wait. Anymore.

I am tired.

My emotion is tired.

I won’t feed my emotion. Ever. Again.

Full stop.

*

Dear me…

Please wake up tomorrow with another one less person in my mind. Please.

Thank you.

Sometimes I can sense that he likes me so much that he makes others stopped from getting too close to me. Hence some mixed feelings started to grow inside – the feeling of being loved and appreciated and protected and a little bit of possessed. And envied.

That was nice.

But sometimes I felt uncertain about these feelings.

The fear of listening or knowing of his uncertainties (perhaps) make my uncertainties grows and deepened.

So whenever I felt it, I will try to stay away from his sight.

But…

Please don’t let it happen, please…

Please…

… : jealous.

And what’s that supposed to mean?

*

I always know that I look ugly whenever I am jealous. But I just couldn’t help it. So i tried to put on some smile to ease the feeling.

I didn’t know whether it worked or not.

But the thing is, yes. I am jealous.

Tipikaliti

Hampir 8 tahun yang lalu, bila SMS masuk pada hari minggu, bertanya di mana saya? Jawapan tipikal saya, ‘Office.’

 

Sekarang pun saya akan beri jawapan yang sama terhadap soalan yang sama pada waktu yang sama. Selalunya lah.

 

*

 

Kenapa ya? Mmmm…memikirkan tanggungjawab (walau dah tentu itu bukan pejabat saya), memikirkan betapa fleksibelnya berada di pejabat pada hari hujung minggu, saya boleh fokus terhadap perkara-perkara remeh yang sebenarnya memerlukan waktu yang bukan sedikit untuk diselesaikan, yang takkan mungkin saya boleh hadap pada hari bekerja biasa. Dan juga kerana tiada komitmen lain di rumah mahupun di luar. Tiada suami, tiada teman lelaki.

 

8 tahun dan masih begitu. Saya sedang menantikan perubahan sebenarnya. Belum nampak sebarang tanda tapi saya yakin takkan selamanya saya akan bersama tipikaliti ini.

 

Dan selama hampir 8 tahun ini, saya tidak pernah dibayar untuk berada di pejabat pada hujung minggu kerana tidak entitled untuk overtime, tetapi kepercumaan itu membuat saya penuh. Dan saya gembira melakukannya.

 

Namun saya juga berharap kegembiraan lain akan menyusul juga akhirnya. Amin. :)

Takdir Allah adalah misteri dan tiada yang mustahil dalam misteri itu.

You don’t have to have a Mercedes to make me like you.
You don’t have to earn millions to make me fall for you.
You don’t have to shower me with gifts to make me love you.

All you need to do is meet my parents, then marry me, grow old with me and be my best friend.

Khalas. :)

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